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Emotional Intelligence Summary

Favorite Quote from Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Daniel Goleman’s the author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence, which sold over 5 million copies, brings new theory to explain why emotional intelligence is more important than Intelligence Quotient( IQ).

Simple Short Summary: Emotional Intelligence shows new insights about the working manner of “two minds” and how it influences every aspect of your life; the book reveals that it is not the high IQ people who work well but it is the people who have moderate IQ that performs remarkably well.

Emotional Intelligence Summary

5 min Read

In this summary, you will learn:

Lesson: A – Emotions protect you from repeating mistakes and aware you of the environment

Lesson: B – A fulfilling life is a perfect balance between thinking and emotional brain

Lesson: C – Boost Emotional Intelligence with three exercises

Lesson: A – Emotions protect you from repeating mistakes and aware you of the environment

Do you think your emotion hold you back? Then, you may be wondering how to remove emotions and become callous. The fact is emotions are crucial and provide various reasons to live a fulfilling life.

The first reason is the manner in which the emotions collect memories and use them to learn lessons. So, as the brain accumulates life experiences, it stores facts together with associates feelings with them.

These captured feelings use in learning life lessons. To better understand this, let’s look at an example.

Suppose, if a kid unknowingly puts his hand on a hot stove, the sudden pain will surge into his body. These painful feelings will store in his brain and remind him not to touch hot utensils in the future.

Thus, you can say emotions help you to learn lessons and also prevent us to not to repeat the same mistake.

The second reason is, emotions guide you in interpreting the feeling of other so that you can predict their actions. For instance, imagine you are relaxing on the park bench enjoying the surrounding after heavy rain.

Suddenly, you notice an old man sits on the same bench. As you watch this man, you notice his hairs are messy, eyes are red, fists are clench, and face is red in anger. Maybe, he doesn’t love rain.

With all these body signals, you can easily predict his state of mind that’s an emotional state. In addition, these body signals also forecast his near future actions. Perhaps, he may attack you.

The last reason is that your emotions urge you to take action. Of course, you need emotion as they help you to react instantly.

So, if you look at the previous example of an angry man, after watching his body language, your emotions will prepare you to defend yourself in case he attacks.

In fact, it found out that those who have lost the ability to control emotions also lost the urge to take action. Even in the past era, patients who have gone through lobotomy surgery have lost their ability to control their emotions and also lost the emotional drive that compelled them to act.

Lesson: B – A fulfilling life is a perfect balance between thinking and emotional brain

The way you think and feel are interweaving with each other. It happens because there are two areas of the brain one is where rational thoughts birth while another is where emotions are born are connected.

So, your emotional understanding depends upon these links between your thinking brain and feelings brain. In case any damage causes to these pathways can result in deficiency in emotional intelligence.

For instance, an individual will stop experiencing any emotions if his emotional brain disconnects from his thinking brain. This deficiency also hampers the ability to understand your own emotions and their effects on your performance.

This theory validates by lobotomized patients because in these patients once the connection between two brains were disconnected, they completely lost their capacity to manage their emotions.

Furthermore, the connection between thinking and feelings brains are essential for self-regulation of emotions. In fact, the thinking brain readdresses the problem signal by the emotional brain.

The process of self-regulation of emotions works in this manner, for instance, you hear a sudden bang, this abrupt noise will put your feeling brain on high alert. The emotional brain will sense this as trouble and put your body in alert mode.

Now, the thinking brain comes in, analyzes the surroundings, and checks the potential threat. At this stage, if the thinking brain doesn’t find any threat, it calms both the body and the feeling brain. This process will help you in thinking clearly.

It is the reason that shows why you overreact to every loud bang you hear. Moreover, breaking the connection between feeling and thinking brain will make this process impossible to execute.

Hence, patients who have damaged their thinking brain fail to manage their feelings.

Lesson: C – Boost Emotional Intelligence with three exercises

Now as you learn that emotional intelligence helps in living a fulfilling life, you may be wondering, is there any way to increase it? Off course, doing a number of exercise help you to increase it.

The first exercise to improve your self-management and self-awareness is practicing inner dialogues. Inner dialogues guide you in identifying your feelings and assigning names to them.

Suppose, your friend informs everyone about his marital dispute but not you, you would feel upset. In such cases, inner dialogues help you to resolve the conflict.

Asking yourself, “Why am I hurt?” will help you to know the reason. In this case, the reason might be your friend doesn’t want to bother you because he knows you are running behind a project deadline.

Once you spot these feelings, you can decrease the influence from yourself. It will allow you to interpret the events differently such as my friend already knows that I’m busy dealing with the current project that’s why he doesn’t tell me.

In this manner, you will be less anxious.

The second exercise is to become more empathetic. For this, you need to mirror the body language of another person. Body languages express emotions as well as invoke them.

For instance, by mirroring body language, you will develop the same tense within you.

The third exercise is thinking positively. Communicating about your success and failure in a positive way will motivate you and have a positive impact on your mind.

Remember, people, who motivate themselves, also convince them that the reason for their failure is something they can overcome. Thus, these people are also able to persist in whatever they are doing.

However, people who think that failure is some personal deficiency that they will not overcome soon abandon their goal. So, if you want to become successful, avoid this kind of thinking process.

Emotional Intelligence Review

In Emotional Intelligence, Daniel starts with convincing you that EQ that’s emotional quotient matters more in compare to IQ in attaining success. Then, it lays out some basics to introduce yourself to what exactly EQ is and its elements along with their strength and weakness.

With the help of vivid examples, it describes five skills of emotional intelligence that defines your success in various fields such as work, relationships, or even in physical well-being.

It also describes that emotional intelligence can cultivate and fortify during adulthood which benefits your health, relationship, and work.

The book is especially for people who want to understand their emotions as well as the emotions of other people.

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Thank you for reading and feel free to share your thoughts.

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