In this, you will learn how to talk to anyone anytime anywhere. The book is the treasure of tricks to improve your communication skills.
If you are an introvert person and struggle with your image in social interaction. And even you didn’t know how to tackle social awkwardness in various situations.
You can simply go through the summary and you will gather the confidence which you are lacking with proper guidance and treasure of tricks.
Because the book will enrich your communication skills with a professional style as well as I’ll provide you the ways to discover your hidden potential and boost your communication as well as your personality.
You can even use the tricks to improve your social life.
I know that you like to get attention and you want to be the star in a group of people. But, for that thing to happen in reality. You need to load yourself with tons of tricks.
Here, the tricks I’m going to talk about are real and you can implement it from today. I’ll teach you the art of how to talk to anyone.
The book is filled with 92 little tricks to begin communication. But, I focus on explaining easy tricks that you can use right away from today.
Each chapter is broken down. So the tricks become super easy to learn and mega easy to use in your daily life.
Suggested Reading: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living Summary.
3 Mind-Blowing benefit of Smile.
Smile as you See Your Friend.
Don’t show a smile, immediately as you see your friend. Instead, look at your friend’s face for a second and then erupt your lip slowly. Because it makes your smile more sincere.
Even if, the delay was less than a second. But the little trick will make the friend feel special.
Delivering the Same Smile.
Are you delivering the same smile to everyone? If yes, then you are losing the value of your smile.
Flash different structures of smiles to different people as you value them.
Example: You are shaking hands, introducing yourself in a group of people, one after another. Now the next person is Angelina. And you want her to feel special. So flash a different structure of smile.
Bringing the Warm Smile.
When you meet a new acquaintance either at a party or in an event. Try to make her laugh. So, the next time you meet her, you can bring a warm smile by remembering her the last moment.
How To Impress a Girl?
Do you want to impress a girl? You can use the trick when you are speaking in a group of people.
Look at your female partner directly in her eyes. Pretend your eyes are stick with her. Don’t take your eyes away from her.
Looking her in her eyes will increase her heartbeat and she captivates to talk to you.
Note: The trick will help you to attract the opposite sex.
Watch Your Target.
Now as you are watching your target. Notice how she is reacting?
It’ll give you an idea, either she wants to talk to you to not.
Is she smiling? nodding her head, palm up her hands while taking, or is she frowning or looking away while taking?
Activities define, either the target wants to talk to you or not. Make a habit of analyzing your partner. Express yourself, but keep an eye on how your target is reacting. As it helps to fuel the conversation.
See how Easily you can make friend.
Don’t imagine yourself as a lazy guy. But imagine yourself as a super somebody.
Imagine in your mind. Compose a mind movie that you’re walking in confidence, making a firm handshake, doing conversation with your loved once.
When you keep imagine you as a super somebody and playing a mind movie. Then, the thing will begin in reality. And it gives you the pleasure that everybody attracts towards you.
It is the theory of the subconscious mind. And you can read the power of Subconscious mind to know more about it.
Why do You fail To Make Friend?
Do you know why it is hard to make a new friend?
Because when you introduce yourself, your body language begins to fire bullets. Your body displays a gesture that shows shyness. Here you need a trick to wipe out shyness.
The only time you didn’t shy when you are speaking with your old friend. Make a note when meeting with someone new. Imagine, she is like an old friend.
Ignoring Subconscious signal will reduce the change of Making connection.
Whenever you introduce yourself to a new person. She’ll make subconscious judgments either she wants to do friendship with you or not.
The decision based on signals your body language delivers.
Here are a few questions her subconscious mind asks before she starts a conversation.
Does he look at me? Does he smile? Does he lean toward me? Each time you introduce to a new acquaintance. Give her a warm smile, a firm handshake, and your undivided attention.
Keep an eye on your body Moment.
Few body moments can meltdown your credibility in a conversation. Make sure you aren’t following anyone of them.
When you’re doing a conversation, focus your attention on speaker words. Don’t massage your arms when it tingles, not rub your nose when it itches.
Because these body moments take place when you are telling lie. So don’t fidget, wiggle, squirm or scratch.
Never make your friend feel embarrassed, just focus on shining moments.
Never notice minor spills, hiccups, sneeze, and couch of friend, family, and colleague. Ignore the moment when their peer is not shinning.
Why it is more effective to gathering little Details?
You’re doing a business conversation, right after the conversation both of you share your business card. After a minute especially when she isn’t watching you.
Take out her card, note down her favorite restaurant, drink, tours on the back of the card. The trick will help you to break the ice the next event you meet.
You can even use this trick when you want to make someone feel special. Capture little details of her life, like, where she was, what she was doing.
Then, the next time, you connect with her. Ask her, how was her trip. She’ll become breathtaking. Because it makes her feel special.
save yourself from social awkdness, take a voice sample.
Imagine you’re in a gathering. And you find someone attractive.
Now you decide that you’ll go to your target and introduce yourself. You take one foot ahead in front of another foot and walk towards your target.
You introduce yourself, launch your hands to shake, and your eyes meet. You talk for a minute then you become speechless. Now you don’t have any words to say.
It happens because you forget to take a voice sample.
A voice sample helps you to detect how your conversation partner is feeling. It’ll help you to uncover the state of mind of the conversational partner, either she is feeling joyful or tedious.
A sure way to save yourself from this awkward situation is to tell your host to introduce yourself to your target. Because it’ll help you to know her a voice sample.
Plus, when the host introduces you to your target. He’ll also let you know the background information about her.
Why you should hang around with different culture of people?
Become a word detective. And analyze every word your partner is speaking. As it helps you to know the field of a person.
Example: If you are running software and you are facing some problems. You called software engineering to fix the problem. Although, when the engineer arrives at your place to fix the bug. Did you notice the word difference? A CS engineer would call this bug.
Now the question arises. How do you know the CS engineer would call bug instead of issue or problem? For this, you need to enhance your knowledge.
How do you do that?
Make a habit of reading a magazine, especially out of your field. Because it’ll help you to families with other field words. And give you a conversation booster. With time, you will skyrocket your knowledge and can talk to anyone.
Even I suggest you indulge yourself in a new activity, twice a month.
Because it gives you a conversational booster.
Do something you never dream of doing. Something out of your field. If you play tennis on the weekend, try hiking on this coming weekend.
Doing something different will create a conversational folder. Once you gather the basic knowledge of hiking. And you meet a stranger, who loves to do hiking.
Then, you can easily fuel the conversation. Because both of you share the common ground.
Once you begin to run the conversation start copying the speaker words.
Words like nouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, and echo them back. The trick will enhance your respect and make a better understanding between the two of you.
Back-Up your words with Quotations.
Words have the power to make people laugh, or cry. And if you don’t use your words correctly, your enemies will use it against you.
Use quotes to enrich your conversation. Spend some time learning quotations. Because when you speak in a public you must have phrases to make your audience laughs.
Tips to evoke the jackpot of topic.
Now you begin to think about what to do when you become speechless. What to say next? And how to continue your conversation?
The unravel truth is, it doesn’t matter what to say, but how you say it?
Your new friend will tune in your voice, not your words. But, I’m not saying words don’t matter. Words Matter! But, to fuel your conversation, you need to ask ordinary questions.
The Guide of Basic Questions you should know.
Bunch of questions you should know. Because every time you meet a new person, he’ll throw at you.
Where are you from? What do you do? What is your story? What is the most interesting thing you have done? How did you get into your profession? What is the coolest place you have ever visited?
But problems arise when you deliver your answer in one word.
Imagine, how excited you feel, if your new friend helps you to get a raise in salary. So don’t deliver your answer in one word.
Example: If you are a financial planner. Then, instead of saying I am a financial planner. Say, I help people to plan a financial future.
Gather a new exciting stock of answer, to deliver. Because it’ll create an impression that you are a fun person to know.
Plus, when you follow the rule. You will give the hungry communicator something to fuel your conversation.
Now once you have to gather a thrilling stock of answers you can go even one step ahead. Don’t ask any person, what do you do? Instead, Ask how do you spend most of the time?
Because when you are asking a question to the woman. What do you do? And she is a housewife. She’ll feel threatened.
Drain the tank First.
Imagine, you and your friend (Ana) decides to go to a restaurant tonight. You tell her after completing work from the office. You’ll pick her and then we will go to a restaurant for dinner.
After completing the work. When you are going to pick her up. You stuck in a traffic jam. And you were late by one hour. You were frustrated and even drop the plan for a restaurant.
You finally arrive at the Ana office.
Ana was furious. She just opens the door of your car, sits inside, and said a single line, I don’t want to eat out, today.
You take your car to a nearby restaurant, tell the waiter to pack your dinner. And, then directly take the car towards home.
Now, you want to tell the entire story to Ana. But you don’t know how to tell. The best approach is to drain her tank first.
Let her explain the feeling.
Because she won’t listen to your words until her head is full of her idea.
To tell your story, you need to wait until the last word spill out of her mouth. Once her inner voice is calm, you can start to put your words.
Because you make a mistake and Ana suffers.
It’s not enough to say sorry. Instead, think about what you can do for her. So your partner will please. Once you figure out. Then do it fast.
In case, of Ana, Sam picks her up the next day for dinner.
How to avoid looking stupid when you become speechless?
You reach a point in a conversation where you become speechless.
Now you begin to think what to say next and how to fuel your conversation? Here is a solution to your problem. I’m showing you the trick, Parroting.
In parroting, you repeat the last two or three words of the speaker.
Example: In a conversation between Phil and Leil when Phil is returning from the airport after picking up Leil. Leil was exhausted and wants to do rest, but Phil wants to describe the story.
Phil: Leil last night I went for a theater.
Phil: Yes, it was a great show.
Leil: Great show?
Phil: Yes, it’s a new show by Stephen Sondheim called Sweeney Todd.
Leil: Sweeney Todd?
Phil: Yeah, great music and an unbelievably bizarre story.
Leil: Bizarre story?
For the next half an hour, Phil runs the story.
With this trick, you’ll reach a point, where your speaker mentions a common interest.
Once you know the ground. You’ll have the jackpot of topics to build your friendship.
4 Ways to improve communication on Call.
Responding to Your Speaker.
In face to face conversation, you introduce yourself, shake-hand, make eye contact, deliver a sincere smile, and listen carefully.
But what happens when you and your colleague are far away, and doing conversation on call.
Then, the gestures won’t help you. Your body language and facial expression add more than half of your personality.
But when your partner doesn’t see you. He’ll not understand either you are listening or not.
You should verbalize words like I see, oh that’s great, no kidding, tell me more, interesting.
Pick up the phases that match your personality.
Capturing the Attention of the caller.
You can use the trick when two of you hundreds of miles apart.
The magic is to make your talker feel special on the call.
Use caller name more often on the phone then you would use in face to face conversation. Using the name, demand her attention.
Be attentive to the call.
Whenever you are on the phone with someone and you find a voice in the background of the speaker.
Either dog is barking, a baby is crying, someone is pronouncing the name of the speaker or you hear the phone ringing. Say your speaker instantly. I can hear another line.
Do you have to answer it?
This prevents your speaker from thinking how can I interrupt the person without being rude. So I can answer another line.
Even if he doesn’t need to answer another line. She’ll amaze by your understanding.
Responding to your speaker.
You need to develop a habit of listening. Listening carefully will make you an authentic and secure person to share your words.
Everybody needs a person to talk. But nobody wants to listen. Everybody loves to uncover their life thrilling story.
Even you are listening, behind the scene, you’ll think what to say next? The truth is if you want to talk to anyone, then first you should learn how to listen carefully.
Instead, of vocalizing umm, uh-huh to your speaker. Construct a sentence that supports the speaker words.
Tools to empower your communication; We, and Us.
Use we or us to make your relationship firm. Using these words even when you are speaking to a stranger. Because this subconsciously brings your stranger close to you. The little trick will help you to become authentic.
3 Kinds of Senses.
You see the world through five senses. In each person, one senses stronger than others.
Visual people use visual words while doing the conversation. Words that can compose the image of the event in the mind of the listener. Likewise, kinesthetic use kinesthetic words and auditory use auditory words.
But here you need to do the homework. You need to sink in the speaker’s mind. And expose which sense is more important to your speaker.
You can even use the quick guide of auditory, visual, and kinesthetic words.
Once you are aware of the different kinds of words.
Then, it’ll become your backbone to impress anyone. You will be blissful and think why not you got this before.
Why you should not directly compliment to your friend?
Now imagine you want to compliment your female friend (Ketti). How do you compliment her?
But the first question is what is a compliment?
A compliment is a statement that says something good about someone.
You look in her eyes, deliver your compliment. And she looks back in your eyes responding to you warmly. But with time, the value of the compliment fade away.
However, you can empower your compliment. Your compliment makes more impact when she overhears from coworkers and friends. The best approach to compliment Ketti is to tell her friend.
You can even use this strategy when you are talking to a stranger. Search for one attractive quality, look in her eyes, whisper her name and deliver your compliment. Try this. Because it has some magic.
Note: Give one compliment per year.
Why Introvert Fails and Extrovert succeeds in connecting with others.
Introvert people unconsciously broadcast insecure body language signals.
However, extrovert adopt open body language. Extrovert people don’t wait for someone to approach. But they choose the target to talk. Extrovert guys analyze the environment and choose the target to talk.
Now if you begin to wonder what is introvert and extrovert? Here is a short definition.
An Introvert describes a person who tends to turn inward mentally. Introverts sometimes avoid large groups of people, feeling more energized by time alone.
However, extrovert finds energy in interactions with others. You can even find out the extrovert guys from a far distance. Because extrovert guys are courageous and exciting.
The body posture of the extrovert guys have uncrossed arms hanging at their sides, legs slightly separated, and a blissful smile on his face.
Owe you one.
When someone does a favor for you, it’s obvious he owes you once. Wait for a time before asking him to payback.
Let him enjoy, you did this for friendship.
However, no one did anything for free so if someone does a favor to you. You should pay him back in the future.
narrating a story.
When someone narrating a story in a group and just before the big point. A new acquaintance joins, and the attention turns towards the new arrival.
Nobody is aware of the interruption, except the speaker. Sooner everyone forgets that the speaker hasn’t made his point.
Give everyone a little time to settle.
Now, it is your responsibility to offer a helping hand to the storyteller.
Say to your speaker. You please get back to the story and remind him where he left by affirming the last few words.
Once you do this you’ll become authentic because you prevent him to feel miserable.
Plan you party to do fun, not to fulfill your hungry appetite.
Now you are planning to visit a party. But if your purpose not only to full your hungry appetite and also want to make friends. Here is a tested list you can use to easily connect with others.
Wear a whatzit? Are you curious to know what whatzit is?
It’s something unique you wear or carry. It’s an object that draws other people’s attention. And inspire others to approach you. It gives the topic to your speaker to start a conversation.
For women, whatzit can be anything, a purse, bracelet, or a necklace. And for men, it can be wristwatch or some type of tattoo that draws other people’s attention.
- Eat before going to a party. Because, if you are having dinner. You will miss the chance to interact with others.
When you just arrive at a gathering stop at the entrance. Analysis of the environment. Choose the person you want to talk to.
Choose the person you want to talk to.
Proactive choose people to talk. Travel your eyes from one corner of a gathering to another. Make a note in your mind, the person you are going to talk first, second, and third.
- The last thing to do before leaving your home. It’s to turn on the television. And go through news updates. Because it’ll help you to know what is happening around the world.
At Last: Here are my favorite Quotes from this book.
- I always try to turn the spotlight on the other person. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.
- When you act as though you like someone, you start to really like them.
- Keep good eye contact.
- Your eyes are personal grenades that have the power to detonate people’s emotions.
- The exact moment that two humans lay eyes on each other has awesome potency.
- Spend time with people you choose, not just those who choose you. Be choosey in who you pick. But don’t wait to be the choose.
You should grab the book. If your words dry up when you initiate a conversation. And you want to do conversation but do not know what to talk about? Going through the book you will grab the jackpot of topics to talk to anyone at any time.
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Above article is the extract version of the book “How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” written by “Leil Lowndes”.