Tricks you can use from today to talk to anyone.
1. Never flash a smile, immediately after you find someone in your lane. Instead, look at the person’s face for a second, and then erupt your lips slowly. Thus, the smile becomes more sincere. Even the delay was less than seconds, but, it will look like the smile is especially for the recipient.
2. If you display everybody the same structure of smile, then the smile lost its value. When meeting with a group of people, vary your smile. Do not use the same for everyone. Flash everybody different smiles. Especially, when one person in a group is more important to you than others.
3. The trick helps you to attract female partner while conversation. Pretend your eyes are stick with your speaker. Do not break eye-contact even if she finishes her message. When you must look away. Then do it more gradually. Maintaining eye contacts give you the impression of an intelligent person. Looking in her eyes will increase her heartbeat and she captivates to talk to you. A word of caution for men. When you are talking to men. Do not stick your eyes, otherwise, your listener misinterpret your message.
4. The trick requires three people to execute; you, your-target, and another person. Suppose you are standing in a group of three people. And another person is speaking, keep your eye on your target but also keep nodding your head on speaker words. So the speaker feels you are listening. Travel your eyes back and forth from speaker to target. The target sense you captivate in her.
5. Keep your eye on the listener and watch how she is reacting. Is she smiling? Is she nodding? Is she palms up her hands while talking? Is she frowning? Is she looking away? Is she clenching her knuckles or stepping back? The list defines either your partner wants to talk to you or not. Make a habit of analyzing your partner. Express yourself but keep an eye on how your listener is reacting to what you are saying.
6. Visualize yourself as a super somebody. Practice as you are comfortable talking to your new acquaintance. Imagine you are walking in confidence, making a firm handshake, chatting comfortable with everyone, and feel the pleasure of everyone charm towards you. Once you visualize and practice then it will begin to happens naturally.
7. Every time you meet a person, she will make subconscious judgments either she wants you in her life or not. The decision based on the signal your body language delivers. Here are few questions her subconscious asks her before she starts a conversation. Does he look at me? Does he smile? Does he lean toward me? Each time you introduce to a new acquaintance. Give her a warm smile, a firm handshake, and your undivided attention.
8. The secret of making people like you is to revel your new acquaintance how much you like her. Your peer will not know until you tell her. When you introduce yourself to a new acquaintance, your body starts firing bullets. A few body movements will show shyness or hidden hostility. Here you need a trick to fly shyness. And the only time you do not shy is when you are talking to someone you love. You feel comfortable from head to toe without a thought. So make a rule while meeting with a new acquaintance imagine, she is like an old friend. As it forces your body language to respond warmly.
9. Whenever you are doing an important conversation, focus your attention on the listener. Do not put your hands on your nose, or massage your arm, when it tingles, neither rub your nose when it itches nor lose your collar when it is hot, As these symbols interpret your message and can reduce credibility. The message body language delivers that you are telling lie. Because when an average person tells a lie, the emotion arises and the body changes take place, when this happens, the body starts to fidget. And fidgeting reduces credibility. So do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch.
10. Before initiating a conversation take a voice sample. Voice samples determine the state of mind. Either the listener is feeling confident or tedious. Imagine you go to a party and the host introduces you to a new acquaintance. You shake hands, your eye meets and suddenly your words dry up. And now you are thinking about what to say the next. This happens as your peer is in different state of mind than yours. A sure way to protect you from this situation is to take the voice sample.
11. What to say when talking to anyone? But, it does not matter, what you say first? It depends on how you say it. Your peer will tune in to your tone, not your words. To fuel your conversation, the trick is to ask ordinary questions with passion to get your peer talking.
12. Whenever you go to a party, wear a whatzit. A whatzit is anything you wear or carry. It is an object that draws people’s attention and inspires others to approach you, to ask, what is this? It gives the topic to your speaker to start a conversation with you.
13. A successful communicator eats before visiting a party. They know, they will need people to shake hands, exchange a business card, and hold a drink. And if you are having dinner. Then you will miss the chance to interact. Because your friend might think, let this hungry human feed his appetite. And I will talk to him later. But later never comes. And they end up making friends with someone else’s.
14. When you arrive at the gathering, stop at doorway, analysis the environment. Choose the person you want to talk to. Be a chooser. Travel your eyes back and forth, analysis, and make a note in your mind the person you are going to talk first, second and third.
15. You visit a party and find someone attractive. Instead of directly approach a stranger. The best approach is to reach your host and ask him for an introduction. Find out the stranger’s job, field of interest, and hobbies. Collect enough information to launch yourself.
16. Some questions that every time, you meet a new acquaintance, you will have to answer. Where are you from? What do you do? But, problems arise when you deliver your answer in one word.
Think how my professional will benefit from this person’s. For example, if you are a financial planner. You can change your words from I am a financial planner and I assist people to plan financial future. Prepare a set of new exciting stock answers, to describe you. It will create an impression that you are a fun person to know.
Give the hungry communicator something to fuel your conversation. Likewise, when someone asks you what do you do? Throw some delicious facts about your job. Do not answer in one word.
17. Never ask anyone “what do you do”? Instead ask, “How do you spend most of the time?” Because when you ask “What do you do?” And the woman you are talking with is a housewife. She will feel threaten.
18. Become a word detective and analysis every word your partner is speaking. When you pay attention to words. You will find a preferred topic your peer wants to talk about. And it will help you to grow your conversation.
19. Make a habit of trying to put a spotlight on a stranger. As confident people often do this. Successful communicator knows they can grow more by listening than talking. The longer you keep the spotlight away from you, the more interesting your new acquaintance finds you.
20. People with rich vocabulary spread an impression of more creative, and intelligent. These people get hired quickly, promote faster. The good news is you to do not need to learn the phrasal word dictionary, as only fifty words can create a difference in your personality.
A word of cautions. The first time you use glorious, instead of wonderful. It may not roll off from your tongue properly. However, ‘glor-i-ous’ does not have any more syllables than won-der-ful. Before using the words in public, use a few times at home so you will become comfortable with the word. Replace old and obsolete with a new word. Once you get comfortable than like replacing the old pair of shoes with a new one, slip your tongue into new beautiful words.
21. Whenever you make a mistake and someone suffers. Then, it is not enough to correct the error. Instead, think about what you can do for this suffering soul. So your partner will be, please. Once you figure out. Then do it fast.
22. To put your words in the listener’s mind. When the listener’s brain is full of her thoughts. The first thing you should do is to drain her tank. Especially, you are taking with emotionally charge events. You cannot pump gas in a full tank; otherwise, it will go to splash. To flow your idea in her head wait until the last drop is splash on the cement. Once her inner voice is calm you can start to pour your words.
23. The final thing, you need to do before going to the party. It is to turn on the television. To aware yourself what is happening in the world? Knowing a topic will help you to enhance your image in a group. And if you are not aware of the current affair, you need to separate yourself from a group. When two peer talks about the topic.
24. Parroting allows you to fuel your conversation. With these tricks, you will never be speechless. In parroting, repeat the last two or three words of the speaker. Here, you urge the speaker to speak more.
25. When you are talking to a new acquaintance. You find out the speaker mentions a common interest, let her discuss her passion. On the right time, mention, you also share the same interest and disclose the similarity. Instead of breaking the conversation and telling your partner that you have the common interest. Bite your tongue and let teller delight in her monologue.
26. Your life is steering by the pleasure-pain principle. You will captivate towards pleasure and repel the pain. For many people thinking is painful. So frame your sentence with the word you. Word you enriches the social conversation. And it immediately grabs the listener’s attention and give you a positive response.
27. Words have the power to make people laugh, or cry. And if you do not use your words correctly, your enemies use it against you. Use quotes to enrich your conversation. Spend some time in learning quotations. Because when you speak in a public you must have phrases to make your audience laughs.
28. Before delivering any news keep a receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a sign of a smile, or a sob. Never deliver news on how you feel but how your peer will feel while listening. You should know when delivering bad news you must share the sentiment with the receiver.
29. The moment you wake up, you deliver naked thank you to everyone you meet. Either it is a newspaper vendor or your valuable customer. Instead of delivering a naked thank you dress up your thank you in a more meaningful way.
Example: Thank you for coming, Thank you for waiting, Thank you for being so loving.
30. Once a month, indulge yourself with a new experience. Do something you never dream of doing. Something out of your experience. If you play tennis on weekends, this time go to hiking. Doing something different will create a conversational folder for the rest of your life.
Play another spot will give you an insider terms. Doing an activity for once you will get 80% of the insider question in one exposure. And this can help you to comfortable talking with anyone who does hiking.
Every field, every job, has its opening questions. Once you have opening questions. You can connect yourself with anyone who is talking about hiking. But once you start a conversation change the topic as soon as possible. The fun part is when you revel your teller that you belong to a different field. He will be amaze by your knowledge.
31. Make a habit of reading a magazine. Especially a magazine out of your field. Is it families, you with other fields and gives you a conversation booster.
32. Keep an eye on your speaker and analysis, how the speaker moves. Either fast or slow. Watch her body moment and then copy the style of movement. Doing this makes the speaker more comfortable talking to you.
33. During a conversation copy the speaker words like noun, adverb, adjective, preposition, and echo them back. The trick will enhance your respect and make your partner feel she is close to you. And she will feel you share her values, interests, experience, and attitude.
34. Some people have a habit of vocalizing ‘uh-huh’ ‘umm’ to ensure the teller. I am hearing. But, ‘umm’ is better than a blank stare. Do not make this choice of you. To become a better communicator you should replace ‘umm’ with simple and supportive sentences. When you respond with complete sentences. She will feel you understand her. Your empathy encourages her to continue.
35. We see the world through five senses, see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. In each person, one sense is stronger than others. So for visual people use visual words, for auditory use auditory words likewise, for kinesthetic use kinesthetic words. But, it does not need much work to understand which sense is more important to your speaker. All you need to do is to listen carefully and figure out the type of words a speaker is using. You can even use a quick guide of auditory, visual, and kinesthetic words to have a firm grip on the subject.
36. Use ‘we’ or ‘us’ to take your relationship to the next level, even when you are speaking to a stranger. As it subconsciously brings you close to your conversation partner. Make a habit to construct each sentence with ‘we’.
37. When you meet a new acquaintance, try to make her laugh in the first encounter. Then, when you meet again. You can bring the warm smile on her face by remembering her a fun moment the two of you felt in the first encounter. You can use the trick with anyone. Look for a special moment and then revel it in the next encounter.
38. To compliment a peer, you need to go to the person and compliment her. But instead of telling her, tell the person who is close to her. Your compliment makes more impact when she overhears from other people. The best approach to praise your peer is to tell her friend.
39. Compliment anyone on the very personal and specific quality you spot in. Before delivering a killer compliment, you must observe your partner closely. Either her hands are beautiful, ears or eyes.
Note: Give only one killer compliment per half-year.
You can use the strategy even when you are talking to a stranger. Search for one attractive, and specific quality she has. And, at the end, of the conversation, look her in her eyes, whisper her name and give her a killer compliment.
40. Little Stroke allows you to appreciate your partner on everyday achievement. Little stroke is little, but every woman knows they mean a lot. So appreciate your partner with little stroke. Like, you are the best chief in the town- when she prepares a good meal for you, you look gorgeous- when going out for dinner. Let your partner know how much you love her. By giving little stroke on a day to day life.
41. Your body language and facial expression contribute more than half of your personality. So when your partner does not see you while conversation. She will get the wrong impression.
In face to face conversation, you introduce yourself; shake-hand, make strong eye contact, and deliver a sincere smile, and listen carefully when the speaker speaks. But, what happens when two of you are far away and having a conversation on call. Then above gesture will not help you.
In this, you should verbalize words like ‘I see’, ‘Oh that’s great’, ‘no kidding’, ‘tell me more’, ‘interesting’, ‘I hear you’. As obvious, you have to choose phrases that match your personality and the situation. Using these phrases encourage the listener to speak more.
42. With this trick, you can create closeness, when two of you hundreds of miles apart. The trick is to make your talker feel special on the call. Use caller names more often on the phone than you would use in face to face conversation. Using the partner name demand attention and if she drifts from listening, it will bring her right back.
43. Do not answer the call with always smiling attitude. Instead, put the smile when you aware who is on the line. Answer the phone professionally, say your name. The moment you hear the name of the talker who is on the line, flood a big smile on your face. It makes your caller feel special as the smile is only for her.
44. Whenever you are on the phone with someone and you find a voice in the background of the speaker. Either dog is barking, baby is crying, someone is pronouncing the name of the speaker or you hear the phone ringing. Say your partner instantly. I can hear another line. Do you have to answer it? This prevents your partner from thinking about how can I interpret the person without being rude. So I can answer my other number. Even if she does not need to answer another number. She will understand you are a top communicator.
45. Successful Communicator does not wait for other people to approach them. But they choose their target to talk. They analysis the environment and figure out who would be beneficial for them to talk. Then they approach them for conversation directly.
46. Shy people unconsciously broadcast insecure body language signals like clutching the purse, clasping a drink. Study shows party goer adopts an open body language. The body posture of the party-goer has uncrossed arms hanging at their sides, legs slightly separated, and a slight smiles on their faces. They even display open wrist and palms up a sign while communicating. To become a better conversationalist adopt open body language posture.
47. Capture a minute detail of important people in your life. Keep record where your friend was, what she said on the last conversation and what she was doing from the last conversation. Then the next time, you connect remind her the conversation you had. When you invoke the last event in anyone’s life. It makes her feel special. And the most important form of tracking is to remember the birthday and anniversary date of loved once.
48. When you have a conversation with anyone and you share your business card. Right after both of you separate from one another. Take out the card and note down something back of the card; her favorite restaurant, sports, film or drink. Doing this provides you a conversation hook for the next conversation you do.
49. Never notice minor spills, hiccups, sneeze, and couch of friend, family, and colleague. Ignore the moment when their peer is not shinning.
50. When someone narrating a story in a group and just before the big point. A new acquaintance joins the group, and the attention turns towards the new arrival. Nobody is aware of the interruption, except the speaker. Sooner everyone forgets that the speaker has not made his point. Give everyone a little time to settle.
Now as a good communicator. It is your responsibility to provide a helping hand to the storyteller. Say to your speaker. You please get back to the story and remind him where he left by affirming the last few words. Once you do this you will build rapport in the eyes of the speaker because you prevent him to feel miserable as he did not complete the story.
51. When someone does a favor for you, it is obvious for you he owes you once. Wait for a time before asking him to payback. Let him enjoy, you did this for friendship. However, no one did anything for free so if someone does a favor to you. You should pay him back in the future.
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Above article is the extract version of the book “How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” written by “Leil Lowndes”.
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