Simple Short Summary: The four agreements is a practical guide to control your mind from false beliefs and show the path to achieve mental mastery, it shows you how you domesticated from childhood and how these guiding rules hurt you throughout your life.
Reading Time: 8 minutes
The Four Agreements Summary
The moment a child enters into the world he doesn’t have any agreement, however, all the agreements he learned while growing up comes from his mom and dad. As a result, the process of believing in agreements throughout your life is known as domestication. To receive the reward the kid starts to behave his mommy’s and daddy wants him.
With time the kid becomes a copy of mamma, daddy, society, and religious beliefs. However, the majority of agreements he believes are lies and cause him to suffer.
You can use the four agreements to free your life from false beliefs. However, to change your beliefs focus on agreements you want to change. Changes only possible once you’re aware of self-limiting beliefs.
Have a look at all beliefs you’ve made during domestication. With this, you begin the mastery of transformation by changing the self-limiting agreements and embracing alternative agreements to reprogram your mind.
The four agreements end the emotional pain by breaking the limiting believes and you gain personal power to become stronger. The stronger you get, the more false beliefs you can break.
Breaking the spell of black magic requires personal power. Every time you break false belief, you gain additional power. Start by breaking less powerful beliefs, but replace false beliefs with a new belief. Don’t leave it a vacuum.
Hence, it also keeps the old belief away from coming back, and the new belief will occupy the same space. You also have strong beliefs. Because the way you’re living now is the result of many years of domestication and you can’t hope to break the domestication in one day.
You learn the old beliefs by repeating them over and over again. Therefore, to adopt the new beliefs you need to put repetition in action.
First Agreement: impeccable with your words
The human mind is like a fertile ground, and it’ll grow the seed you plant in. The seeds are opinion, ideas and concepts. You plant a seed, word, thought, and it grows. However, the mind doesn’t differentiate between good and evil seeds, and it’s even fertile for the evil seeds.
Why with your words?
Because words have power, it’s a gift you receive from God. With words, you can express your power, and manifest everything. Your inner manifests through words, what you’re, what you feel, and your dreams. It’s not a written symbol but it’s a force, a power to express yourself, communicate and think.
Now it’s your choice either you create a beautiful dream with words or destroy everything around you. Misusing words can ruin your life while using your words carefully can create beauty, love and heaven all around you.
Misusing words can push each other down and can ignite the fire of fear. Because words are the magic humans possess and misuse of the word is black magic.
In everyday communications, you cast a spell of black magic to each other with your words. You spell black magic when you criticize or lie to others. You should forgive people who criticize you.
Others use black magic to intentionally spread the virus to seek revenge. You’ve the power to cast a spell with your words or release a spell. You should understand the power that comes out of your mouth.
You even use poison for yourselves unintentionally when you say: I look fat, ugly, getting old, or losing my hair. Now you use words against yourself? Talks aren’t good for your health.
Once you make the first agreement you see changes you deal with yourself. Becoming impeccable clean the emotional poison from your mind and communication. Your mind will no longer fertile ground for black magic, and it gives you the immunity to withstand the negative spell. Instead, it’ll become fertile for words come from love.
Being precise with your words is to use your energy in the direction of truth and love. However, making the agreement is tough because from childhood you’ve been programmed to tell lies and during your domestication, the habit is deeply rooted in your brain.
When you hear an opinion and believe it, it becomes an agreement and part of your belief system. Once you make an agreement you can only replace it with a new agreement.
Example: It’s a story of a woman and her daughter whom she loved and adored. One night when the woman came home from a bad day at work, tired, and with a terrible headache.
She desires to sit quietly in her room but her daughter was singing and jumping happily. The daughter was unaware of how her mother was feeling, she was in her own world enjoying the song, shouting, singing louder and expressing her joy.
She was singing loud and it makes her mother’s headache even worse.
The mother lost her control and walk towards her daughter’s room. She looked at her and shouted shut up!
You’ve an ugly voice. Can you please shut up?
The truth is the girl doesn’t have an ugly voice, but she believed and stopped singing songs. She begins to think her voice was ugly. With time she becomes shy to speak in front of people and speaking to others becomes difficult for her. Everything changes in the little girl world with an agreement.
Second Agreement: Avoid Taking Things Personally
Avoid taking things personally, the moment you take an opinion personally you eat emotional poison, and now it becomes yours. However, when you don’t take it you become immune. Becoming immune is huge freedom because it guards you against emotional poison. You avoid eating, and it becomes worse in the sender.
With this agreement, you can break dozens of teeny tiny agreements, habits and routines. Don’t take anything personally you hear is the second agreement.
No one can hurt you until you hear the person’s assumption and accept it. The moment you agree you take the poison and feel insulted. Even when others insult you, it has nothing to do with you. Opinion of others are according to the agreements they’ve in minds, the opinion comes from the programming they receive during domestication.
It’s not important to me what others think of me. I don’t take it when others say, “Rahul you’re the best” or when they say, “Rahul you’re the worst.” Whatever they think or say is what they feel and I know what they feel is their problem, not mine. It’s the way they see the world.
Even when they get mad at me, I know they’re dealing with themselves. I’m the excuse for them to get mad. Either way, it doesn’t affect me because I know what I’m.
When you live without fear you won’t feel envy, jealously and sadness. When you didn’t feel emotions you feel good. When you feel good everything around you is good, and when everything around you is good, everything makes you feel pleasant.
Because you’re happy with everything, you’re in love with everything around you. You love it because you’re in love with yourself. You’re happy with life and the agreements you make with life.
Your mind can talk to itself, however, it also hears the information accessible from other realms. Your mind is divided like your body. One part of the mind can talk to another part. Now it becomes a big problem when a thousand parts of the mind speaking at the same time.
The programming in the mind with all those agreements aren’t congruent with each other. Hence, it creates conflict when one agreement goes against another one.
Every agreement is like a separate living being and has its personality and voice.
When every part of the brain speaking at the same time is called mitote. Mitote is the reason humans hardly decide what they want, how they want, and when they want it.
One part wants one thing while the other wants exactly the opposite. Conflict arises because one part has objections to certain thoughts, and another’s part supports the thought.
Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumption
The big mitotic in the human mind creates confusion and misinterpret everything because you see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, and perceive things the way you want to.
Every time you don’t understand you make assumptions and create a meaning for it, but when the truth comes out. The assumption was different from reality.
Don’t make the assumption is the third agreement. Assumption of what others think and take it personally. You blame and react by sending emotional poison with your words. Hence, whenever you make an assumption, you begin to accept it.
However, you should sum up the courage and ask for clarification. Once you know the truth settle down your curiosity. It’s always better to ask questions than to make assumptions. Why you make assumptions?
Making assumptions avoid the need for communication. Everyone has the curiosity to validate everything to feel safe. Millions of questions craving for the answers because a reasoning mind never answers everything. It’s not necessary if the answer is correct or incorrect, all you need an answer to settle down your curiosity.
You make assumptions unconsciously because you don’t ask for clarification. The moment you stop making assumptions you’ll communicate clearly, and free from emotional poison. Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.
With clear communication, your relationship with everyone else’s will change.
Fourth Agreement: Keep doing your best
You perform better when you wake up refresh and energized than you’re tired at night, and your best will be different when you’re healthy compare to sick.
Even your best depends upon your feelings whether you’re feeling happy, upset, angry, or jealous. You feel good and you perform better than the times you feel upset. It doesn’t matter if you’re sick or tired but keeps doing your best. Under any circumstance keep doing your best no more no less.
When you do your best you can’t judge yourself. However, when you try to do more than your best, you exhaust extra energy than required.
With less efficiency, you may take long hours to accomplish your goal. However, when you work less you’ll feel frustration, guilt, regrets and self-judgment.
Doing your best make you productive because you save spare time to spend with your friends, family and community. You take action because you love the process, not because you want rewards. However, the majority of people take action to get rewards hence never reach their full potential.
It means you practice on your tiny teeny mistake. However, your routine habits are firmly rooted in your mind. Don’t assume you become impeccable with your word; never take anything personally; never make the assumption all at once.
Even don’t feel guilty, or punish yourself when you fail to keep agreements. By doing your best, the habit of misusing your word, making assumptions and taking things personally, will become weaker and less frequent with time. If you do your best again and again you become a master.
From childhood, you’ve learned everything through repetition.
Example: You learn to walk, write and drive by repetition. You can speak your language effectively because you practice a lot.
The four agreements is a summary of mastery of transformation keep doing your best to honor these agreements. Make an agreement to honor the four agreements, but you must have a strong will, a strong will keep these agreements. Why?
Because you’ll realize your path is full of obstacles. Everyone tries to interrupt your commitment with new agreements. You need to use every ounce of willpower you’ve to keep agreements.
Even you fall, stand up and keep going, be tough. Surely, the beginning will be tough, but with time everything becomes easier and you live your life with four agreements.
Favorite Quote from the Book.
True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake. -Don Miguel Ruiz
It is when we lose control that we repress the emotions, not when we are in control. -Don Miguel Ruiz
Humans hardly know what they want, how they want it, or when they want it. -Don Miguel Ruiz
- Think before you speak, don’t be blunt because words have the power. With words, you can bring happiness, make them despair, motivate, or de-motivate them.
- Don’t take things personally regardless of the behavior of the people around you. Taking thing personally drain your energy level, diminish your happiness, and doesn’t add any value in your life.
- In confusion, ask for clarification instead of thinking what others may want to say. Don’t make assumptions sum up the courage and ask questions but don’t assume anything.
- Make your motto to do your best in any circumstance however, the quality of outcome may vary depending upon your health, energy level, and other factors.
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